The Light of Life Magazine
A ministry of Christian writing

July 2011


Duke Jeyaraj

We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ.

Shobhaa De wrote very interestingly about the April 29, 2011, wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. She said that this event probably would beat the World Cup football finals in the viewership stakes. I take you now to the part of her article where she talks about the hot issue of living-in: "Kate is clearly not a virgin. And thankfully, that is no longer an issue. She has been Williamís live-in partner for the longest time (an eight-year courtship makes Kate a relationship veteran). Unlike Diana, her late mother-in-law, who had to undergo an agni pariksha to establish her credentials as an untouched, hymen-intact bride... and hold her breath for a verdict! Suitable or not suitable, only the wily courtiers could take that awful call! Kate comes into the marriage as a contemporary career woman...." (The Week, May 8, 2011). Hmmm. Those lines make it that living-in is no big deal for the modern generation of youth, doesnít it? Many young working professionals live in cities such as Hyderabad, Pune, Mumbai, Noida, Gurgoan, without thinking about it, too much. "It is no big deal!"-thatís the feeling they share.

How would God view living-in? Would He say, "Let living-in live on?" That is our question. Living-in, I believe, would not please the Lord for the following reasons:

1. Temptations
When two young people from the opposite gender, who are not yet man and wife, start living alone in a house, it is an open invitation for sexual temptation. And the Bible is pretty clear as to how we must take on sexual temptation: we flee from it. II Timothy 2:22 says, "Flee the evil desires of youth." Joseph ran from sexual temptation. He refused to even be with the tempting Mrs. Potiphar (Gen. 39:10). Staying with her, behind a locked door, was out of question for him. And Joseph won the temptations that came by his way, hands down. Quite unlike Joseph, another young man went to meet with a lonesome 'aunty' whose hubby was on a long tour. From 'smooching' they graduate to 'sleeping' together during the times they were alone (Pro.7). When we read in the book of Proverbs, "Can a man scoop fire on his lap and yet remain unhurt?," it is a picturesque exhortation from the Bible to escape tempting situations. Living-in will enliven the hormones of normal people to do the inevitable: have sex outside of marriage. And sex outside of marriage is not only disobedience to God, but it will also bring about a devastating effect of the two people doing it.

Boris Beckerís Salaam Namaste!
Boris Becker had sex outside of marriage with a Russian Model, after he lost his last Wimbledon game. It was an act that lasted for five-seconds. It was an act he deeply regretted, he stated. The model became pregnant and this fling cost Becker his marriage. In the movie, Salaam Namaste, we see two Indian young people in Australia deciding to live in together. The boy insists, they would be only friends, while they lived in, and there would be nothing further than that between them. But soon, they end up having sex. Not only that, the girl becomes pregnant despite the boy using condoms. You see, living in and sexual temptations cannot be ever separated. The same sort of thing happens in the Tamil movie Varnam Aiyiram.

Why invite such needless heart-aches by living-in?

2. Testimony
Billy Grahamís Model
The Bible teaches us that we must do what is right not only before the Lordís eyes, but also what is right before manís eyes, especially when the reputation of the Gospel is at stake (2 Cor. 8:21). Billy Graham, the great evangelist, understood this and implemented this in his life. In his gripping autobiography, Just As I Am, he talks about a day when he decided, that he would not "travel, meet, or eat alone" with a woman other than his wife, as a young evangelist. What an example he is for godliness for the Google Generation! The reason Billy did this was not hard to guess. Hear it in his own words: "We pledged among ourselves to avoid any situation that would even hint the appearance of compromise or suspicion." Yes, Billy Graham avoided being behind locked doors with a woman who was not his wife, to protect his testimony. And that is yet another reason why a Jesus-pleasing youth would shun living-in.

Yousuf Pathan Six
You might save-up on rent when you live-in with your partner from the opposite gender.

But your testimony goes for a huge Yousuf Pathan six in the process! Suppose, you come to my house and find me in a locked door situation with a person of the opposite gender other than my wife, what would you think of me? You will go, "Duke preaches great stuff. But his life is horrible!," wonít you? You see, how living-in can hurt your testimony even when you have done no wrong behind those locked doors?

3. Trick
Corporate Girlís Comment...
Many young people decide to live-in with a person of the opposite gender because they are tricked into believing that it helps them to get to know the other person better. Such knowledge would help them decide if they want to marry the person they are living-in with, or not. If they found something absolutely objectionable in the other person they could always back off without the burden of a life-long commitment like marriage, they argue. Living-in is "being willing to take the risk to see if a relationship will work out," according to a young woman who works for a corporate company in Hyderabad. Hmmm. Well. You really cannot know any person in full. Only God knows each one in full (Jn. 2:25). Talk to married couples who have celebrated their wedding golden jubilees together. They will tell you that they are still discovering new things about each other. Knowing your life partner is never a completed process. It is always on. While this is true, why do you want to fool yourself thinking that you get to know the person you are living-in with? There is absolutely no need to even try what is not even possible. While you are reading these lines, a question arises in your mind: Should I not make any effort to get to know the person I want to marry? You should. In a group setting, in a safe environment, you can go about doing this. But know this for sure: whatever you discover about your potential partner may not be true forever, when he or she gets married to you. A person you observe as being extraordinarily patient may not be patient once he or she is married to you! So do not build castles in the air thinking you are getting to know the person you are living-in with. It doesnít work that way!

You Can Live-in With This Person!
The only person you can live-in with, without any second thoughts or reservations, before you are married, is the Saviour. Paul, apparently wasnít married. And he lived-in. Donít faint after youíve read this. Iím not finished yet. Paul lived-in with Jesus. Let him describe this earth-shattering experience for you: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20).

Boyfriend Walked Out Of Your Life?
Did your boyfriend walk out of your life? He enjoyed every inch of your body while he lived-in with you. Now he tells you that he is plain bored and wants to explore the possibilities of living-in with an equally-sheepish girl like you, but of course, a girl with a better figure than yours. As a result, you are heart-broken, you feel used and thrown, and are absolutely shattered. Come to Jesus. He will accept you just as you are. And He will start living-in with you! He has no impure motives. Can the One who died a brutal, bloody death for you on the Cross mean any harm to you? You just have to open the door of your heart to Him -- to Him who knocks gently. And if you will, you will find meaning and purpose in your life, as you start living-in with Him (Rev. 3:20). Why are you waiting?

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