The Light of Life Magazine
A ministry of Christian writing





January 2011
BASHED WITH THE BIBLE..!

Robert Clements
 

The husband, who'd just died, walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, "Not this way, sir!"

"But itís written 'Heavenly Gates' up there?"

"For those who've earned the right to enter!"

"I have!"

"I don't think so, sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!"

"What! Who do you think you are?"

"An angel of the Lord!"

"A woman!"

"So?"

"Shut up!"

"What?"

"I said, shut up!"

"And why should I, sir?"

"Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don't speak to men like this!"

"That, sir, is why you are being turned away, down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife!"

"Has she been complaining?"

"Not complaining, but praying everyday, that you would change your ways, but with Bible in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn't convinced, you even used the Bible!"

"Yes, I did.."

"To hit her with! That heavy Bible of yours was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her with it, don't you, sir?"

"She used to disobey me. I used to tell her to fast and pray while I preached, and sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!"

"Poor, tired woman, why didn't you fast and pray while she preached? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did Jesus thrash His disciples for falling asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane?"

"They were men!"

"Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!"

"I can adjust to that!"

"Too late, sir! Too late! Just as much as Jesus mixed with men on earth, He mixed with women; the woman of Samaria, Mary who poured oil on His feet and so many others, all as equals!"

And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman's voice cried, "It is my husband, let him in!"

"That's your wife!," said the pretty angel, "Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave, ah there comes your friend Satan, to take you, where you wife-beating, male-chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!"




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